FASHION IS...

FASHION IS...

Fashion is—what fashion was,
It’s just that it’s “in fashion”.
And passion is—what passion was,
And that too is “in fashion”.
Designers choose the state of art,
Which only makes me wary.
‘Cause if Calvin Klein is in a bad mood,
What you look like might be scary.
I’ve dealt with schmattas for many years,
And I’ve seen both good and bad.
But seeing a septuagenarian in a mini-skirt,
That really makes me sad.
I say fashion is what you choose,
To wear, to move with ease.
Lots of black, with a splash of color,
And an extra layer, please.
Ignore what they say in WWD,
Who crowned John Fairchild, the queen bee.
Just look in the mirror before you leave the house,
A navy blue skirt, and a crisp white blouse.
Accessories, accessories are always a must,
No sweater too tight to show off the bust.
In regards to leather, keep it simple and black,
If you buy it in brown, you’ll only take it back.
Stripes and solids are always good,
Stay away from lilac, buy something with a hood.
Evening wear is always black with pearls,
And as for your hair, extended curls.
But darling don’t go by what I just said,
If you wear anything else, you’ll wish you were dead.

Written by Abe Gurko, circa 1986